Author: tearj3rker
Posted: Tue May 15, 2012 3:04 am
I wouldn’t be too concerned about that article. But I did find it really interesting how they brought up the "moon cycles" thing. It sounds quite mystical. However, this is exactly what I experienced when I first got clean. Initially things are incredibly difficult. By day 90 I noticed that things were beginning to settle, and I no longer was freaked out and afraid of myself whenever a craving surfaced. Then gradually those "challenging" periods became less frequent. And I do remember they seemed to come up around the "milestone" periods of 30 days, 60 days, 90 days, 6 months, one year. Perhaps it was psychological.
The main symptoms of those difficult times were stress, reminiscing about drug use, drug dreams, nervousness etc. They’d gradually get worse over a period of maybe one week, and if I managed to work through it without using, I’d wake up one day and the feelings would be gone! And it was as if I’d find a new level of contentment and stability in myself. Kinda like graduating to recovery level 2 or 3 or 4.
As for the whole 10 years thing. I will agree with that. Is it something I’m afraid of? No not at all. After the initial PAWS period, of which the first 90 days are the most challenging, people still get periods of cravings. And I believe when people talk about long term PAWS that’s generally what they’re talking about. Cravings, reminiscing of our drug use.
Instead of viewing PAWS in a medical light, look at it another way. If a person endures some kind of trauma in their life, be it physical or psychological, there is a period of recovery required. How long it takes depends on what kinda person they are, what they’re recovering from. However once they’ve recovered as much as they ever will, that trauma still leaves residual scars. They may still experience flashbacks decades after it happens. That experience also moulds who they are, and influences their behaviour. "Ripples" of that trauma may be felt for the rest of their life.
I think our addiction is no different. I’d go as far to say that addiction is one of the most traumatic things a person can endure, because they’re not much else in life that can cause someone to smash their own morals against the wall and pawn their own grandma. Recovery from addiction is a LIFE LONG process. The concept of PAWS just pathologises that process, and makes us feel like we’re powerless of it as well, which we aren’t. How well we want to recover and how much we let it affect us in a negative way is completely up to us.
What the article is saying, IMO, is that you may still experience cravings decades after you stop using. But I tell you, if you experience a craving at 20 years clean, it will be nowhere near the intensity of those in the first year or two of recovery. Most people I’ve heard said they noticed themselves thinking about using one day, realised what they were thinking, then went "oh wow that was funny! Haven’t had a thought like that for a while!" Then carried on with their day.
As for the cognitive issues… well we HAVE really done some damage to ourselves. It does take a while for our brain to grow new connections to make up for the ones we’ve fried.
