Author: bubblebobble
Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2011 5:48 pm
127 hours 33 minuets and 29 seconds. That’s exactly how long it’s been since my last dose of an opiate.
I know I had said I was going to do a daily journal when i finally came off of the sub, but.. well.. we all know how withdrawal is. And… for better or for worse… I took methadone for the last 3 weeks before I jumped.
I got my sub dose down to 1.6mg a day for about a week. I think found a connection to methadone and greedily, the addict wanted "one last high". I also justified that using methadone for a few weeks might clean out the sub and therefore help the withdrawals. Well, whats done is done.
It is officially day 5. Days are manageable; night are hell. God damn hell. Flailing, sweating, kicking, aching. My bones want to jump through my skin.
Now, I’m not CTing this withdrawal. I’m actually quite lucky. I have clonidine (godsend), k-pin, xanax, ambien, and trazadone (which I haven’t used). I don’t like anti-depressants. I’ve also used quite a bit of immodium as that helps the WD’s. And of course the OTC stuff. IB Profin, Tylenol, etc. And I’ve smoked a couple joints through this whole thing. Some people say it helps, I don’t really know. I think it helps mentally, but makes the aches worse…
I’m making it. I’m not really even craving any opiates, just feeling like shit. But with that said, I’m not bed ridden. At all. I’ve gone out to hang out with friends and chat, and try to pass the time. It’s just the nights, oh god the nights…. I cringe just thinking about them..
Anyways, I will try to post again. I’m going to a NA meeting tonight and made an appointment at the outpatient rehab clinic here in town for next week. Wish me luck. It sucks, but I’ve definitely been through worse. I just hope this doesn’t last WEEKS. I’m thinking by day 7-10 I’ll be on the mend and things will slowly get better.
Thank you to everyone who has been here for me and supported me through this ordeal. You guys have no idea how much it has helped me.
Will post again.
-Bubs
