Author: slipper
Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 10:45 pm
| oxen wrote: |
| Hello everybody.
The reason for this thread is to create some accountability and to reach out for support. A few weeks ago I started a thread about how I was afraid to commit to subs. Not much has changed since a few weeks ago; I am still afraid however, now I’m determined not to let my fear prevent me from beginning my treatment. I have been seeing my sub doctor (who I dislike but that is another thread/story) once a month and renewing my prescriptions however I have not begun taking the medicine. Now begins the countdown until withdrawal symptoms start; withdrawal symptoms that I know will be uncomfortable due to the severity of my habit; IV heroin all day everyday. I’m ready to end the madness. I’m hoping that I can go to sleep and wake up to withdrawal symptoms that are severe enough to warrant the start of my subs. Anyway. Here goes… I will report back about my success and or failure to follow through. Failure really is not an option though. |
Oxen,
So you failed…again even…Let me see…did I ever fail? more than once…well I failed in the treatment centers because i was only there because of my family…got caught…or ran out of drugs…5 treatment centers..and nothing…because I did not want to stop taking my drugs. period…..I failed in AA..NA..Oh I went a lot and sometimes I just left the house and rode around for an hour so he (the husband ) would thinkI went…didn’t work the program..because I didn’t want to get off my drugs…and all the rest..psychi./counsel….failed…becauseI DIDN ‘T WANT TO GET OFF MY DRUGS!!!
You do not want to get off heroin. ….and yet you do not want to keep doing it…you are in a real mess here…
and every one of us has been where you are …in one form or another…
Never feel like you cannot post because you have disappointed us…you have disappointed yourself. We are here for you whether you take the sub or shoot the h…I have been were you are sooo many times…afraid to take the step to get off my drugs..can’t live with them, can’t live without them…
Maybe if you had SOMEONE…a friend, relative…someone who could be with you for 2 days and take up all your h and have it out of the house..no phones to get more….and when you needed to score next this friend could instead give you the sub…that way it would be out of your control…because you are incapable of making good choices now…at least that is what they told me…all you have to do is take the sub one time and enough to cover your receptors about 8 mg.s and that will make the h bounce right off of you…won’t even feel it…won’t do any good to take it ( h) waste of good h..but the bup or sub will make you feel wonderful…normal…no craving…no more addict…no more lying stealing cheating you know the deal….we have all done it…and the sub will work in about 10 mins…just like taurus said…
why do you think we are all on it?? find a friend…a true friend…and confess and let them help you with this…what you are doing is wasting valuable time…in which you could die…
…and keep posting…even if you fail and fail..and read what we write to you..we care about you…we want you to see the other side of the rainbow…there is a pot of gold in there..it is called the land of the living.
Slipper
