Author: hatmaker510
Posted: Mon Oct 10, 2011 3:58 pm
The reason I can see this so clearly, Romeo, is that I used to be one of those people who craved and abused benzos like a mad woman. I, in no way, lived life on life’s terms. I could not live like most people, handling the normal everyday ups and downs of life. Nope, I needed that warm blanket of total and utter relaxation to handle even the smallest blip on any given day. I could handle practically nothing. I just checked out instead.
Does that mean I never think about achieving that feeling again? Hell no! But when it occurs, I just put it out of my head immediately and instead I address the problem instead of running from it. I don’t know how I managed to change that, maybe it was therapy or maybe it was just my overall recovery. However, what I’ve learned is that I CAN cope without the benzos. Oh and I learned that I do NOT have an anxiety disorder.
So you see, I’ve been on both sides of the this whole thing – I was very much NOT living life on life’s terms and now I am. So I have truly experienced both sides and because of it I feel that I understand what Dr. Junig is saying, maybe a bit more so because it seems to apply so much to me and how I used to be.
And lastly – IF you don’t mind me saying this Romeo – I think you’re stuck in a little bit of black and white thinking. There is a lot of gray area in the spectrum of "living life on life’s terms" and NOT "living life on life’s terms". You don’t have to fit into ONLY one of those two extremes. I think you’re forgetting all about the middle ground in between. Plus I think you’re being too hard on yourself. Only you can determine how much of this pertains to you. I wouldn’t worry too much about it. You can always read it and file it away and take it back out when you want to think on it more. For some reason I just get the feeling that this is bothering you. But then I’m probably way off base. Either way, I hope I didn’t cross any invisible boundaries with my words.
