Author: bfromindy65
Posted: Sat Jul 23, 2011 6:38 pm
Hi Hatmaker-
Thanks for welcoming me! I’ve been on Suboxone since February of 09. I don’t really count that as my clean and sober date, but that is when I went to rehab and they got me off of everything I was on (methadone, percocet and Xanax) and that’s just the legal stuff. I’d been on that type of thing since I was about 20, so for a good 25 years I tried to make the drugs work for me. They didn’t though. I couldn’t do it. I had this "on switch" that wouldn’t turn off and the withdrawals actually got dangerous, way more than I could handle. And they always lasted for so long (because of the methadone I think) that I always gave in or the pain would get to me and I’d go back to what always worked. My "on switch" doesn’t come on when I take the Sub. I mean I thought I was going to die from this because I COULD NOT find a way to stay outta pain and keep the withdrawals at bay, and keep my life together. Nothing worked.
I take my Sub once or twice a day, depending on if I’m hurting by evening. I also take Neurontin and IBU’s. The way my doc has it written up I can take 2 1/2 a day, but I usually only take the 2, in the morning, along with my regular old meds. I got sober and found out I have high blood pressure! Why who would have thought that all that crap I was taking would keep my blood pressure down?!! It’s wild, I end up with extra Sub at the end of my 4 weeks! I’ve NEVER done that! And I don’t take any kind of benzoes or sleeping pills. You know, nothing that get’s me high. And I am in AA.
I don’t think I’d be OK without AA, nor do I think I’d be OK without the Sub. It all works in concert for me. Do you take your’s in 1 dose, or 2 or three? At 1st, I took mine 3 x a day, then 2, now maybe 1 and 1/2. I haven’t noticed any w/d setting in once I got the dose straightened out, but sometimes at night I feel like I need that extra 1/2.
Please forgive me for writing really long posts and replies, I’m completely new to this type of thing and sometimes I really ramble! And this stuff feels so personal, it’s hard to put into words.
I’m looking forward to hanging out online here, I can identify SO MUCH here. Do you use any type of 12 step program? I find the two things work best when I use both at the same time. I mean, the date that I started Sub on and my actual "clean and sober" date, are different. I went through some dental stuff, and for some INSANE reason, thought I’d take the stupid Vicodin the right way. And trust me, I always thought Vicodin was trash, not at all strong enough to do anything for ME. Well, I didn’t, and I almost immediately felt like my connection to God and to AA was lost. Thank God I talked about it, and for personal reasons wanted to take a start-over token. If I’d have let that guilt fester…well it wouldn’t have been pretty!
