Christmas Disaster! :|

Shit seems to happen at the most inconvenient times. Something happened today which has thrown my Suboxone treatment, and may have me taken off treatment completely. For a bit of background, understand that in my country we are supervised dispensed our doses from the same pharmacy every day. As our doctors gain trust in us, we are given up to 5 take-aways per week, which still means going to the pharmacy twice a week. I am, at the moment, given 4 weekly take-aways, but that’s irrelevant for my situation. If you miss 3 doses in a row, you’re turfed off the program.

I was staying at my girlfriend’s lastnight, and I knew I’d have no time to drop by the pharmacy to get my dose before going to my father’s for Christmas celebrations. So I used 6mg’s of my very small collection of "backups" so I’d have my dose for the day. I knew the Pharmacy was closing at 5pm, and it was really necessary to get there because they are ..closed.. until Wednesday. So I’d need to get at least 3 take-aways because of it.

I’m at dad’s, we’re all feasting away, having fun through the afternoon. As I’d had my morning dose already, I didn’t have that body reminder I normally do to get my Subox. My girlfriend’s got a nasty headache, so she goes and lies down, and I hang out with her for a bit. I end up having a nap too. I then get up to say goodbye to some people, and my girlfriend runs at me grabs me and points to the clock. It was right on 5pm!

We run off without explanation, leaving everyone, and jump in the car. I frantically call the pharmacy, and the pharmacist picks up (phew relief) but then proceeds to tell me she’s actually not there (lie) and why didn’t I pick it up yesterday. Which I didn’t because I had a take-away for today. It was about 5:02pm. I was literally 1 minute away from the pharmacy, and she hangs up. I get there, and it’s completely empty (or she was hiding). I’ll admit that I was starting to panic.

Anyway, I tell my sister & brother in law who are doctors and happened to be around when I get back to my father’s. They tell me to try the ER. So I go to the ER, and sat around for like 4 hours. The triage said they might be able to work something out. I see the doctor, and get the 3rd degree (which I can understand) but he came to see I was for real after a bit. Anyway, he tries to work something out… but he comes back, and tells me it would be illegal for him to prescribe Suboxone, as he’s not authorised. So I was shit outta luck. He gave me 5 valiums. Fantastic.

The short-term damage is … I won’t be able to get any doses until Wednesday (maybe). I have 9x2mg tablets. I should be okay really, and could make them stretch barely, and maybe even lower my dose in the process. It’ll mean pulling out of a holiday with some mates to the coast for 3 days though.

That’s not the BIG issue though. By wednesday, I will have missed doses on Saturday+Sunday+Monday+Tuesday .. = 4 doses. I am now turfed off the Suboxone program. Them the rules, sadly. I "may" have been able to work something out if I could see my doctor on Wednesday, but he is on holidays until mid January. I "might" have been able to see another doctor, if the prescribing authority for these schedule drugs weren’t on holidays as well until after NYE.

So I’m kinda screwed, and may end up doing (another) jump off a high dose of Suboxone. I’ll have to wait until Wednesday to see if I have any kinda chance with the Pharmacy.

Inpatient detoxes also don’t take admits over the holiday season.

If I gotta detox, I gotta detox. But I’ve planned a very awesome (and very expensive) diving holiday to the Barrier Reef, and even if I started detoxing now off 12mg… I’d still be messy by then, and seriously able to scuba? I don’t think so. So this is a pretty big f*ck up … and it’s my fault, really.

Regardless of what happens, this has made me realise how fragile my existence is while I’m dependent on this drug. If my supply gets cut off… I’m in trouble. Having Suboxone so easily accessible every day for so long, and a part of my routine, gave me a false sense of security. All along I was really vulnerable… And I don’t know if I want to live like that anymore. And strangely, the feeling of panic & dejection… reminded me too much of active addiction.

I called a friend who’s also on Suboxone, asking if he had any extras, and he didn’t. But he said "look if you’re thinking of using gear, it’d be better for you to just use Oxy. U don’t wanna put a hole in your arm." Interesting logic, but nah thanks.

Anyway, I’m keen to get any ideas from you guys. Is there something I might have missed?

Will keep u posted.