Author: tearj3rker
Posted: Sun Dec 18, 2011 6:00 am
| Tonya Baldwin wrote: |
| I found myself in craving mode by taking care of someone in Hospice. OMG Morphine was on my mind non-stop. I am truly interested in knowing for sure if I were on a stable dose could I or would I truly not be affected by cravings when it is right there in front of my face? |
That is so true! I remember when I used to visit hospitals that, for some reason, they’d bring on bad cravings. I don’t think it was anything to do with there being drugs around. It was more maybe the fact I find them a bit depressing, all the sickness around, the reminders of my own mortality.
I haven’t visited a hospital for some time though so can’t say whether or not I still get those cravings.
Do cravings ever go away? By cravings I mean the psychological types, that "rising tension" and the "Should I? / No I can’t" battle. I talked to many people who had 10+ years clean off MMT/Suboxone, and by all accounts cravings never completely disappeared from their lives. However, they do get a lot less intense and easier to handle. Instead of being that loud megaphone screaming in the head, it becomes more of a distant echo. (excuse the bad poetry). I was cleaning this girl’s wound in rehab once with alcohol swabs, and the rehab worker who had 5+ years clean heroin addict was standing next to me. And he even admitted the smell of the swab brought on a feeling. I asked him about it after and he said his cravings have never completely go away, but they’ve gotten a lot easier to handle, and he’s gotten better at dealing with them.
| Quote: |
| Munchausen syndrome is a psychiatric factitious disorder wherein those affected feign disease, illness, or psychological trauma to draw attention or sympathy to themselves. It is also sometimes known as hospital addiction syndrome or hospital hopper syndrome |
I wouldn’t worry too much about that. People with Munchausen would sooner run away than admit they have it in front of other people. Your motivation to go to the doctor wasn’t for sympathy, it was to get drugs. That buzz from getting the script is the same as addicts who do an earn, or hustle, and make enough money for a hit. I think it comes from the anticipation knowing that script = getting high.
I got a buzz from doing some bad things to get money to score. Addiction had just reprogrammed me, associating pulling off a dishonest act with getting high. Addiction really screws up our values and priorities because of this stuff, and it can take some time to recover.
