Author: Zyggy
Posted: Wed Aug 24, 2011 1:20 am
YES, the sneezing is. I sneeze like 10 times in a row every hour or so. I also had some mucus like stuff coming down my throat in the first week. Took some benadryl and that helped.
I spent the first week in the tub, in front of TV. My mom and husband slept on the couch next to me watching movies. I was so thankful.
But my family is now forcing me to go into long term residential treatment. Six months or so. I haven’t worked in 3-4 years. Have no motivation to do housework and I’m home all day.
I am so scared. I am leaving September 1st or 2nd. I will miss my family so bad, my husband will be waiting for me with my little one year old girl. Terrified. I’m in Chicago and I will go all the way to Southern California, Orange County.
Part of me wants to go because I know this is my chance to get better, but part of me wants to stay because I am afraid that during this time my husband will find someone new. Someone who is not an addict and a drag on the family.
I think taking so many really hot baths and showers got the suboxone out of me faster. My sub doc said that sauna is really good for getting toxins out so maybe try that out. YMCA has them and if you don’t have too much income they ask you how much you can pay and they usually agree. Normally its $60 per month but I pay $20. I need to start going but my motivation is zero.
They say that getting through w/d is the easy part. its what comes after is the hard part. The reasons you started using will not go away. I think about getting high everyday. I dream about shooting dope. I feel so bad about it but can’t help it. Several days ago I drank a whole bottle of cough syrup cuz I couldn’t stand just being me, not being numbed out by opiates. I hate alcohol but I was drinking during w/d, a little bit because its so nasty.
Clonidine was a godsend. it took away the sweating in the middle part of my body. My hands and feet were so cold but my chest and belly were on fire. Clonidine took that away and it was easy to stop it. I took the clonidine when the hot/cold flushes were bad, which was in the first week or so. Then I took them every 12 hours and then stopped.
I didn’t use any xanax or sleeping pills. They don’t really work for me unless I take the whole bottle, which I have in the past, 300mg of valium in one day or 20mg of xanax plus dope. I was hopeless.
I want a normal life. To go to work. To help my family. To be productive and creative and just do my thing. Opiates made me feel comfy. I was always a fast metabolizer and had stomach issues. When I got on opiates it all stopped. My stomach was fine but I became zombie.
God, 14 days for me is the longest I have been clean in 3-4 years. I just can’t believe it and it wasn’t all that bad this time. Uncomfortable but doable. I hope my life will get better and now I can raeally deal with the issues that got me using in the first place.
