Author: laddertipper
Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2011 12:33 am
Hey, Bboy. Man, it’s so great to hear you sound like this!! You really do sound like a completely different person.
Yes, I became very emotionless and robotic on Sub. The people around me assumed it was a result of my brain injury and I guess I kinda bought into that too. We tried various antidepressants, because being depressed can make a person cut themselves off and seem disconnected. Those meds just did not work. It was frustrating. I thought it was brain damage and that was really depressing. I feel a gigantic difference since getting my dose of Sub way down. I’m closing in on .5 mg now. The difference is amazing, actually. A lot of mornings, I wake up and, even if I have some minor symptoms, I get that excited feeling in my stomach that I used to get years ago. You know when the day is new and it’s a fresh morning and that’s enough to make you feel pumped? I love that feeling.
Also, the sex drive thing. Maybe it’s not as likely to happen to women, but I lost mine completely. It’s coming back, thank God.
Bboy, everyone doesn’t get the same side effects, but I know that for me, and it sounds like this is true for you too, this has been an obvious enough experience that we know it was somehow a result of Sub, perhaps of our doses being on the high end. I think we have to let go of any guilt over how we acted towards other people. I feel very bad about how cold I have been during times when people I loved were hurting and I just could not connect with their emotions in a normal way. It turns my stomach to think back on some of those times. However, it’s such a complicated and confusing experience. You got to the other side of it and you figured out how to make it better. No one can expect anything more of you. I’m sure your family is thrilled to have the ‘old’ you back.
laddertipper
