Author: Rmac04
Posted: Wed Dec 14, 2011 5:26 pm
Yeah I can only imagine what a wake up call reading some of that shit was. Deep stuff. $500 a month is kind of brutal to live with Mom haha. I feel my Mom should have to pay me just to live with her. I am pretty much the bitch around here. Always cleaning and whatnot. I can’t complain tho
I didn’t want to stay on subs cause of some side effects. Nothing too serious but just didn’t feel as healthy and energetic as I would have liked. I felt some of my emotions were suppressed and mainly just didn’t want to be dependent on anything anymore. The relapses happened after I got off subs. I felt I was ready after 14 months of sobriety. My plan going in was to stay on it for a year and then taper off. I knew if I kept putting the tapering off I could end up on it for years and just make it more difficult to eventually get off and stay off… Yeah I am pretty proud of the bouts of sobriety, the problem is that it just sets me back in recovering from the PAWs. It almost resets everything. Not totally but def a set back every time. If I totally fell back into active addiction I would def go back on subs, but I have faith I don’t want any part of that lifestyle anymore. I haven’t even really enjoyed the relapses after having all that sobriety and experiencing life how NORMIES must enjoy it and it is kind of nice when your not a fucking nervous wreck all the time with a one track mind ha! Being young and everything I just want to give my brain a chance to heal and hopefully have a normal life. If it doesn’t work well then Ill reconsider but for now Im on the anti-medication boat. Ive put in too much work to get off to jump right back on. You’ll know when you re ready to get off. Everyone is different.
