Author: laddertipper
Posted: Tue Jul 19, 2011 12:35 am
| christin wrote: |
| A little update. My life has been very busy and crazy. I needed to take a trip to Buffalo with my son for college orientation, so I dragged out my old strips and decided to try cutting them rather than have to travel with liquified Sub. As always, the first couple of days were successful (ahhh… the benefits of such a long half-life!).
Last week was so incredibly busy, though, that I didnt properly divide the strips and often took much too little. I didn’t let the periodic withdrawals get to me, until Friday night. I woke in the middle of the night…. horrible. I guess that I forget how horrible the anxiety can be, how desperate I can feel to not feel that way. It was late and I feared that I wouldn’t sleep if I took more Sub, but I had to take more. It was either that or swallow a whole handful of whatever I could get a hold of. I was awake all night, but I didn’t use (at least that’s the point that my sponsor is making). I need to be more careful on my dosing. I start to feel really good and I think that I can successfully cut down faster than I should. It comes back to bite me every time! Then, I end up feeling as though I’m not at all ready to stop. |
Dude, I FEEL you!! I’ve gone to sleep a few times without dosing just to see what happens. I guess I wonder if maybe I’ll wake up the next day feeling kinda icky but not too bad and realize I went a whole day and didn’t dose. However, I wake up in the terrible, horrible, hellish anxiety and, man, it is SO BAD! There needs to be a separate term for that besides ‘anxiety’ because it’s not a good enough word.. I get exactly what you’re saying about ‘grabbing a handful of something’ because I’d grab a handful of any damn thing that would stop that feeling. I think it would be much better to stay up all night and face that anxiety little by little than to wake up in the middle of it. Make sure you dose before bed!!!!
laddertipper
