Author: CounselorinRecovery
Posted: Mon Jul 25, 2011 10:39 pm
Hey guys! I know I’ve been MIA for the past few months. Things have been crazy to say the least! I’m down to about 3mg per day, give or take a few crumbs, and trying to go down to 2mg…Again, it’s a pain in the butt breaking up the 8mg tablets…ugh! Especially with this humidity for some reason they seem a little more sticky/crumbly… Anyways, after my break-up back in February, I was down about 30lbs from Fall 2010 from all the tapering I believe…Now I’ve been sleeping a lot more and gained about 12lbs back. Yuk! So, I talked to my Dr. today and we discussed how it’s going to go towards the end…He said it will probably be 2mg for 5 or more days, 1mg for 5 or more days, then NOTHING. This seems like a little harsh from what I’ve seen on this website, especially with those who are doing the liquid method or breaking it down to .25 and less and less! However, this is probably because he still thinks I’m on 24mg per day and doesn’t want me thinking about low doses. I seriously wish I could just be like ok – here’s the deal – I’ve been tapering like a mad woman and I’m on 3mg now so GET ME OUTTA HERE! Not sure what I’m going to tell him when and if I do ever get off completely. He wasn’t very reassuring today. He basically said I have a 90% relapse chance if I ever do get off and basically told me that I should be on Subs forever, because "like a diabetic, you wouldn’t take them off of their insulin"… Seriously!? I know I’ve said this to patients who are on methadone because it seems to be the thing to say for some reason, but it is NOT the same at all… A diabetic can like DIE or get really sick without their insulin – All I can think it that without Subs, I will be FREE and DONE with a chapter of my life that I’m not particularly proud of, but has taught me a great deal. Now, maybe my chances are slim, but dammit! I can do it! I figure, if I was able to stop using massive amounts of heroin several times per day after 5 years, then I can certainly stop these Subs. I guess I’m just looking from some encouragement at this point. I want to know that it IS possible and that I do have SOME chance to NOT relapse…Ugh! Thanks for listening and I hope all you guys are doing well:)
CiR
