Author: slipper
Posted: Thu Oct 13, 2011 3:39 pm
HELLO EVERYONE:
SINCE I HAVE BEEN READING ALL THE POSTS ON THE FORUM I NOTICE MANY PEOPLE ARE TAKING THEIR DOC TO GET OFF SUBOXONE, AND/OR BENZO’S TO HELP EASE THE PAIN OF WITHDRAWAL. FIRST I WANT TO SAY I AM NOT AGAINST PEOPLE DOING THIS AS I KNOW THE HORRORS OF WITHDRAWAL,AND ALSO DO NOT WANT TO GET INTO A DEBATING MATCH ABOUT VALIUM. I KNOW WE ARE ALL DIFFERENT AND HANDLE MEDS. DIFFERENTLY. I WOULD LIKE, HOWEVER, TO SHARE WITH YOU A STORY ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED TO ME WHILE TAKING VALIUM.
IN THE LATE 60’S 68,69,70…WE GAVE OUT A LOT OF VALIUM, LIBRIUM, QUALUDE, MILLTOWN, PLACIDYLL, CHLORAL HYDRATE , SECONAL, NEBUTAL, AND TUINAL. (IWAS A STUDENT NURSE AT THE TIME) WE DID NOT EVEN COUNT ANYTHING BUT THE LAST THREE ABOVE. THEY WERE CALLED BARBITUATES. THERE WERE NO BENZO’S YET. NOW THEY CALL VALIUM A BENZO, BUT IT IS REALLY A BARBITUATE. WHEN THEY CAME OUT WITH THE BENZOS IT WAS TO WORK FASTER AND HAVE A SHORTER HALF/LIFE FOR THE PATIENT THUS BEING LESS ADDICTIVE..HO HO HO…
ANYWAY….LONG STORY SHORT..IN 1981 MY HUSBAND SUFFERED A MASSIVE M.I. AND ALMOST DIED..HE WAS 33 Y/O, 32 INCH WAIST, WELL BUILT, NEVER HAD CHEST PAIN, DIDN’T SMOKE,…RARELY DRANK…MAYBE AN OCCASTIONAL BEER…AND HAD NO HISTORY OF HYPERTENSION OR HIGH CHOLESTEROL. WE WORKED THROUGH A MO. OF HELL AND HE FINALLY HAD BYPASS SURG. AND CAME HOME WITH 100 10MG. VALIUM WITH AN OPEN REFILL, AND TYLENOL #3 (HYDROCODONE HAD NOT COME OUT YET). LATER THE TYLENOL#3 WAS REPLACED WITH LORCET 7.5MG…..
AT THIS TIME I KNEW NOTHING ABOUT ADDICTION…..THEY DID NOT TEACH US ABOUT THAT IN NURSING SCHOOL!!
MY HUSBAND NEVER TOOK THE VALIUM..IT HAD BEEN USED BEFORE HIS SURG. OCCASIONALLY HE WOULD TAKE A HYDROCODONE FOR PAIN IN HIS STERNUM FROM THE WIRES THAT THEY HAD USED TO SEW HIS STERNUM BACK TOGETHER. I WAS A NERVOUS WRECK, WORRIED TO DEATH ABOUT HIM. WE HAD TWO BABIES..LITTLE BOYS, AND MY DAD HAD DIED OF AN M.I. WHEN HE WE ONLY 40. I WAS 12 Y/O AND MY YOUNGER BROTHER WAS 8…I JUST KEPT PRAYING THAT MY HUSBAND WOULD LIVE TO RAISE OUR BOYS…
AT NIGHT I WOULD FEEL HIS CHEST TO SEE IF HE WAS BREATHING, ETC..I COULD NOT SLEEP. I DECIDED I WOULD TAKE ONE OF HIS VALIUMS TO SLEEP AND IT WORKED SO WELL. I DID THIS FOR A LONG TIME AND THEN IT DIDN’T WORK ANYMORE SO I BEGAN TAKING 2….AND SO ON…UNTIL I WAS UP TO 4 10MG. PER NIGHT TO SLEEP…I ALSO HAD MIGRAINES AND I TOOK ONE OF HIS HYDROCODONES FOR THAT AND IT HELPED SO MUCH I STARTED TAKING THOSE EVERYTIME I HAD A MIGRAINE! THIS WENT ON FOR WELL OVER A YEAR AND THE ONE DAY WHEN I WENT TO GET THE VALIUM REFILLED THE PHARM. SAID THEY WOULD HAVE TO CALL THE DR. I DIDN’T REALLY WANT THE DOCTOR TO KNOW I HAD BEEN TAKING HIS VALIUMS, SO I TOLD THE PHARM. IT WOULD NOT BE NECESSARY.
I WAS SO DUMB ABOUT ADDICTION THAT I WENT HOME AND HAD 4 OR 5 STILL IN THE BOTTLE AND JUST FLUSHED THEM THINKING I PROBABLY DIDN’T NEED TO TAKE THAT STUFF NOW ANYWAY. WITHIN 24 HRS, I BEGAN TO HAVE AN EARACHE IN MY LEFT EAR…IT JUST KEPT GETTING WORSE…THEN IT MOVED INTO MY CHEST AND I THOUGH I WAS THE ONE HAVING THE HEART ATTACK! I HAD A HYPER SENSE OF SMELL AND TASTE. I COULD NOT EAT OR DRINK ANYTHING SWEET..I REMEMBER HAVING TO DRINK CLUB SODA….WHEN I OPENED A CAN OF VEGETABLES I COULD SMELL THE TIN IN THE CAN MORE THAN THE FOOD IN THE CAN…I COULD WALK BY MY CLOSET (WHERE I KEEP MY KOTEX,ETC) AND I COULD SMELL THE KOTEX. THE DISHWASHER RAN CONSTANTLY, OVER AND OVER AGAIN…I WOULD TELL MY HUSBAND TO PLEASE TURN OFF THE DISHWASHER AND HE WOULD TELL ME IT WAS NOT ON! ONE DAY AS HE (HUSBAND) WENT TO WORK HIS HEAD WAS BIGGER THAN HIS BODY..HE LOOKED LIKE TOPPER OR SOMETHING…AND THERE WERE THESE SOUNDS CONSTANTLY HITTING THE ROOF OF THE HOUSE. THEY SOUNDED LIKE ACORNS OR SOMETHING BUT THEY WOULD HIT THE ROOF AND THEN TRINKLE DOWN AND FALL OFF. ONE DAY I WENT OUTSIDE TO SEE WHAT THE HELL IT WAS AND IT WAS RAINING ACORNS! THEY WERE POURING FROM THE SKY JUST LIKE RAIN…I COVERED MY EYES TO PROTECT THEM. THEN I WENT AND CALLED MY HUSBAND TO SEE IF IT WAS RAINING ACORNS WHERE HE WAS…..THAT IS WHEN HE TOOK ME TO THE DOCTOR.
I CAN REMEMBER MY SKIN CRAWLING AND SOME DAYS I TOOK 5 SHOWERS JUST TO BE UNDER HOT WATER AND RUBBING MY SKIN WITH A WASHCLOTH…ALSO I HAD A HYPER SENSE OF SOUND..EVERYTHING WAS SO LOUD IT WOULD MAKE ME JUMP. I ALSO COULD NOT SEE AS WELL ..COULD NOT READ A NEWPAPER WITH MY CONTACTS IN….I DID NOT SLEEP FOR 2 WKS SOLID..NOT A WINK AND I WOULD TURN OVER AND OVER IN THE BED..RT. SIDE, ABD., LT. SIDE, BACK, AND REPEAT…I SWEATED THROUGH MY NIGHTGOWN IT WOULD BE COMPLETELY WET IN THE AM AS WELL AS MY PILLOW AND MY SIDE OF THE BED AND MY HAIR.
MY HUSBAND TOOK ME TO HIS DR. AND WHILE HE WAS EXAMINING ME HE ASKED MY WHY MY HUSBAND WAS TAKING SO MANY VALIUM. I TOLD HIM I WAS TAKING THEM TO BE ABLE TO SLEEP. WHEN HE ASK ME HOW MANY AND I TOLD HIM 40MG AT NIGHT HE SAID THAT WAS AN ADDICTIVE DOSE. TO BE SUCH A GOOD NURSE, I WAS SURE DUMB ABOUT ME.I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW WHAT AN ADDICTIVE DOSE MEANT.
I AM SORRY THIS HAS BEEN SO LONG. I GOT OFF THE VALIUM AND GOT ADDICTED TO THE HYDROCODONE, MY DOC. BUT I ALWAYS MANAGED TO HAVE PLENTY OF BENZO’S AROUND SO I COULD SLEEP AFTER BEING "UP" ALL DAY ON THE HYDROS.
I REALLY BELIEVED AT THE TIME THAT ALL THAT STUFF WAS REALLY HAPPENING…HOW STUPIED CAN I BE?
ANYWAY AFTER A 29 YR ADDICTION WITH HYDRO’S AND BENZO’S I COULD NEVER USE EITHER OF THEM TO HELP ME GET OFF SUB….I WOULD BE OFF AND RUNNING AGAIN….AND AFTER TONS OF TIMES OF WITHDRAWAL FROM HYDROS NOTHING HAS EVER COMPARED TO THE WITHDRAWAL I SUFFERED WITH VALIUM.
I GUESS I WILL HAVE MY CLONIDINE AND THAT’S IT.
ANYWAY 29 YEARS LATER I AM ON SUBUTEX 16MG AND FINALLY FOUND SOMETHING THAT WORKS FOR ME. I AM HAPPIER THAN I HAVE EVER BEEN BECAUSE I AM SOBER, THANK THE GOOD LORD.!!
THANKS FOR LETTING ME RANT………….JUDY
