Author: hatmaker510
Posted: Sat May 28, 2011 3:25 pm
That does indeed suck, ladder! I’ve just never understood people acting so horribly in the name of religion.
On the subject of shunning…well, I’m one of those people who have a great deal of personal experience being shunned, as some of you probably recall. Mostly this has been by my own family but also by other people with whom I’ve merely disagreed or for some other twisted reason.
For me it can be hard at times to keep the negativity from soaking into me. But I’ve learned of late that I simply cannot control other people and they will do what they are going to do regardless of how I well I behave. Actually it would probably be more accurate to say I have to keep reminding and re-learning it.
We discussed a study around here once before. It talked about how people just won’t budge from what they believe to be true even in the face of factual evidence. So even when a lovely, nice, kind, wonderful person steps into their life, their own biased, prejudiced opinion will continue to color that opinion no matter what the truth may be. And in that case, why even bother trying to convince them that they are wrong? All we can control is ourselves. Never other people. Let their negativity ruin their lives, but not ours. I’m not saying it’s easy, because it definitely is not! I think it’s a learned skill to let things roll off one’s back. I used to try to do that by repeating to myself, "I’m a duck, I’m a duck…it’s rolling off my back." I sounded like an idiot to anyone who might have heard, but it helped me to not let that shit soak into me.
So ladder, try to be that duck and help your little girl to understand that she did nothing wrong (which you are doing). What you are teaching her now will serve her well throughout her entire life. It sounds like you’re handling it with grace. 
