Author: laddertipper
Posted: Tue May 31, 2011 11:16 am
Wow, Hat, that sucks. I have four sisters, and while we certainly don’t always get along by any stretch, we are there for each other in the worst of times. That’s what family is supposed to do. Unfortunately, families don’t always step up like they should.
It’s interesting that you say you banged your head against a wall trying to figure out what you did. That is what I did with this ‘friend’. (Obviously, it’s on a much more superficial level, as it’s not my family.) I thought about everything I did and said and analyzed the hell out of it all. Did I slip up and curse? Was it because I had my coffee maker out when she came over? Was it the Suboxone?
The bottom line is that if you or I did something so very wrong that we deserved to be treated like poop, we would absolutely know it. I think that’s why your siblings aren’t confronting you with something. They have nothing to charge you with. You wouldn’t have to try so hard to figure it out if it was justified. The other thing is that I think it’s really selfish that they choose for their children to not have you around as an aunt. That downright sucks. Kids need to be around people who love them, and the more the better. My sisters add so much to my kids’ lives. If I grew up and found out my aunt wanted to know me but my parent blocked that relationship, I’d be pissed. So, for that reason alone, it sucks that your siblings aren’t trying to work it out with you. Maybe they judge you for your addiction history. If that’s it, well, I hope for them they don’t learn the hard way that addiction happens to good people and you can never assume you are safe. God forbid one of their children ends up with an addiction problem….
I can only imagine how much pain this has caused you. I mean, as addicts, we already struggle to accept our pasts and what we’ve done. When people don’t like us or treat us like we aren’t good enough, we tend to take more than we should because we somehow feel we deserve it. It’s bullshit, but that’s what we do. On top of that, family is supposed to love you unconditionally. You’re right that you can’t control this, and it’s THEIR problem and not yours. You cannot risk even being around people who make you feel like you are no better than garbage. They have no right to treat you that way and it shows the defects in their characters, frankly.
We gotta keep our heads up!
laddertipper
