Author: hatmaker510
Posted: Fri Apr 27, 2012 5:50 am
I’ll try to keep the details short and sweet, but I’ll start by saying this is good news! My cousin has stayed "clean" (still hate that word) since my last post, save for a slip or two. Considering how unstable she’s been, I DO consider this GREAT news. And since my hubby and I were on vacation for two weeks, she’s been 100% relying on herself for ALL of her needs. When I see her now, we’re JUST friends. I hadn’t thought about it until after we returned, but us going away for two weeks put her in a position where if she got into trouble she was forced to get herself out of it and not rely on me/us. Now that we’re back it’s stayed that way. 
I am so relieved that she’s finally making this genuine effort. She even went so far as to come clean with her family doctor about her entire addiction and trying to find a suboxone doctor. Now, I was damn proud of her for that, as I know how hard that can be.
She’s got her own place now, still in the same job, and it even looks like a second job as well. No matter how much I may have crossed the line into enabling her previously, I’m happy with the way things turned out. She and I actually have a better relationship now for having been through this. And I learned things about myself from this whole experience, too. For example, I finally learned how to recognize WHEN I cross the line into enabling. I could never tell when I went from supportive to enabling. My marriage counselor put it to me this way: If in helping another person, I am doing more work than they are, then it’s likely that I’m enabling them. I think it’s a great guideline in helping me to keep my boundaries intact.
I wanted to share this more upbeat news with those of you who supported me when this was making my life a living crazy-ass hell. I can honestly say I’ve been on both sides of the disease of addiction and the two perspectives are most definitely uniquely different. But seeing both sides helps me to understand even more points of view and can only help me.
Thanks to those of you who’ve supported me through this tough time. Whew!
