Author: Romeo
Posted: Sat Jun 04, 2011 2:26 am
Hey Sub Zero and sonsshine, welcome to the forum!
Boy, can I ever relate to what both of you are talking about. The social anxiety is a big one for me too. After many, many years of drug abuse, which started in my mid teens, I seem to have lost or never learned the finer points of being social. Drugs and their abuse lead us to isolating ourselves, we are most comfortable when we isolate, we’ve taught ourselves over the years to isolate ourselves from the world around us and now we have to un-learn all those behaviors. Trying to figure out "who we are again" (at age 43 for me) is a chore and I also find it somewhat embarrassing?? Oh Well, it’s where I am and I have to find a path forward.
My social anxiety didn’t peak when I got on Suboxone, it got worse when I got off of Suboxone. Learning to deal with the chaos that are my thoughts, without any drugs whatsoever, well, it’s a challenge. It takes time, practice and patience. What’s been working for me is "putting myself out there", living life, so to speak. I started attending NA meetings here a couple of weeks ago and I am FINALLY getting up the nerve to talk to people. I seem to not have too hard of a time talking to women, it’s not the easiest thing in the world for me to do, but it’s easier then talking to the men. I went to a meeting tonight, only to find out it was cancelled, but there were many of us who never "got the memo" so we all just hung out in the parking lot and shot the shit for about an hour. I finally was able to talk to a couple of men my age and it was cool. Actually, it was more than cool, it was like, PHEW, FINALLY…..I broke through some kind of barrier and I’m now comfortable talking to several people at my meetings.
I guess I’m saying to keep living. Don’t hole up and hide away. Take it slow if you have to, but don’t give up. I’ve been working on this issue for a long while now and I’m happy with some of the progress I’m finally seeing.
I also wanted to quickly add this, this forum is basically a recovery forum. 95% of the topics revolve around getting on Suboxone, maintaining oneself on Suboxone or the discontinuation of Suboxone…..it’s nice to see a topic that, while it still involves Suboxone or Methadone, seems to deal with a little broader scope as it relates to recovery. I know most of us addicts suffer from a host of mental "issues", probably the reason we used in the first place, it’s just nice to be able to talk about a different subject that is still definitely recovery based.
Good luck to you both, you’re not alone in how you feel.
