Author: Gettingthere
Posted: Thu Feb 16, 2012 11:27 am
I’ve read a lot of the addiction stories over the past week and have debated about posting mine. I think to get everything off my chest & actually talk about things will help me with my recovery. Here’s my story:
I’ve always remembered enjoying pain pills. After the birth of my first son I was prescribed Percocet & although at that point I was taking it as prescribed I loved the way it made me feel. My Rx ran out about a week later & I never thought about the pills again. This went on for a few years, surgeries or childbirthid I’d get a prescription, take it as directed (still loving that feeling) but when it ran out it was no big deal.
I’ll fast forward to 2007. In 2007 I got married to a wonderful man. I had 2 kids from a previous relationship & he had a child of his own. Kind of a Brady bunch. During that year an old friend of mine had landed himself a job as a pharmacist in the town we lived in. It was nice to have him around again & he would come over to spend time with my husband and I a few times a week. (you see where this is going?)
Anyway, I ended up having surgery but this time when I ran out of my prescription my "friend" told me he could just get me more pills. Let’s just say the pills kept coming & I kept taking them. My "friend" taught me how to crush & snort pills etc. I started snorting any pill he would get me. Typically it was Vicodin because it apparently was easier for him to steal.
Now, at some point & I couldn’t tell you exactly when my husband found out. Instead of him getting mad he started doing it too.
The three of us would get together almost every night & snort whatever pills my "friend" had gotten ahold of that day. This went on for about a year or more. I couldn’t even tell you how many pills I was doing a day…. It was a lot.
Well, one night my "friend" came over & said he has a treat for us… It was an oxy 80. I willingly snorted it & instantly fell in love. I didn’t know much about the Oxys at the time – I seriously until that night thought oxy meant Percocet. Lol young & dumb. After a few months of the Oxys I was doing 2-3 a day 80’s.
To keep my story somewhat short & readable I’ll fast forward a few years. My "friend" as it turns out was forging prescriptions for A LOT of oxy & got busted. He was doing upwards of 12 oxy 80s a day. I had no idea his addiction had consumed him to that degree. He ended up in jail & went to inpatient rehab. Now my supply was dry….. You’d think at that point you’d say "it’s time to get myself straight". No, not me…. Or my husband.
My husband found a connection and started buying Vicodin or Percocet. Whatever he could get & we would share it. I thought we were splitting them up evenly but fast fwd a few years and I find out he’s been taking half of them out before he got home and splitting those with me. I was getting 1/4 of what he got. When i realized this, i was pissed. Not because he was lying but because i wanted more pills. I knew at that very moment i was in a world of trouble and it Turns out my husband was way worse off than I even knew. Through the years we would fight a lot. Money would mysterisly disappear from my purse, and our bank account. Every time we would fight, I’d turn to my pills. This viscous cycle continued until recently. My marriage had gone from wonderful & loving to nothing but fighting, lying, and occasionally there were physical fights.
About 3 weeks ago I packed up and left my husband. I realized that I needed help & the life I was living wasn’t a life at all. It was like being in jail and my pills were the warden. I knew that staying with my husband meant I’d never get clean….ever!
My children deserve a better life & so do I.
A week after I left my husband I made an appointment with a sub doctor & even though it’s only been a week I can say that I already feel better. Like there’s hope for me, like I’ll have a future and be the mother that my children deserve.
I’m sorry this is such a long post…. I tried to keep it as short as I could and still kind of explain things.
Lastly, I wanted to thank everyone on this forum! It’s because of you that I called and made my first appointment.
Thank you!!!!!!!!
