Author: Romeo
Posted: Wed Aug 31, 2011 9:58 pm
SherGonnastop,
Holy Crap, where do you guys come up with this stuff?? You said, "now I have to inspire myself"…..you just knocked my socks off!!! That goes hand in hand with, "my character defects do NOT define who I am." For the longest time, my character defects did define who I was because that’s what I thought about the most.
I’m just now understanding how my character defects do NOT define who I am and it’s an awesome feeling. Now that I’m not dwelling on my negative features so much, I WILL be able to inspire myself!!
You SO rock for telling me that!!
Sher, it’s my belief that the selfishness was made exponentially worse by our drug use and the behaviors caused by our drug use. We may have started off as about normal as far as selfishness goes, but the drug use and the behaviors associated with it made us CRAZY selfish. We just have to unlearn some of that shit.
Believe me, I’ve been working my ass off trying to unlearn certain behaviors and to learn the proper behaviors……it’s been hard as hell for me, but at least I’m making progress.
One thing I’ve been doing since quitting Suboxone is waiting for happiness to come to me. It just hit me the other day that I have to go out and find my happiness. It ain’t gonna come knocking on my door and say Ding Dong, your happiness has arrived……I gotta go out and get it myself. Since that revelation I have been getting more active with my daughter and my wife. We went out to a nice restaurant tonight about an hour from the house…..on a Wednesday night!!!! That’s a shocker for me!!! Mon – Fri were stay at home. Sat and Sun, I’d stay home if i could too. I’m finally getting my butt up and out and it’s helping a lot.
BTW, you said you sounded crazy…..no way…..you’re just looking for answers, just like me. Nothing crazy about that.
Unfortunately, recovery is a process. Knuckleheads like me want to drive up to the fast food window and order 5 years of recovery and in 25 seconds be outta there with my 5 years of recovery……LOL!!! Now that’s CRAZY!!! LOL!!!
Keep hanging in there Sher, it gets better, but it does take work and time and patience and good friends.
One more thing, about inspiration……the vast majority of people on this forum inspire me. Whether it’s the person just getting on Suboxone or the person who is maintaining on Suboxone or the person who is trying to get off of Suboxone, they’re all doing their thing in regards to managing their opiate addiction and that’s fantastic. Opiate addiction is a BEAR….a big Grizzly Bear…..who just got stung by a swarm of angry bees……and he fell over and jammed a big ole stick up his arse…..AND HE’S PISSED AS HELL. That’s opiate addiction and anyone who dares take on that bear, well, they inspire the hell out of me!!
