Author: setmefree
Posted: Tue May 31, 2011 12:51 pm
Romeo….I’m so glad you’re enjoying and growing in your recovery with the meetings! I am just sure that if you’re to be successful in staying away from drugs, it will take more than just the "want to." We’ve all got to be working through our issues and dig as deep as we must and do whatever it takes to stay out of the vicious cycle of addiction.
Lillyval….Thanks for your honesty about relating so much to my post. I have been thinking about you lately and have meant to get in touch and see how you’ve been doing. It means a lot to know that I’m not alone in my struggles. Of course, I hate it for you! I would wish this on no one! But as we both have admitted…..if we don’t face the truth and tell the truth, the cycle just continues on and on. I would love to be able to sit here and say, "I’ve got it figured out now. I’ll never let it happen again" and so on. But I know that given access, I would probably try it again…and again…and again. I don’t want it to, but I know it will. Because, as of yet, I have not found my way out of this……not there is an "out," but I do still believe that I can find and embrace long-term recovery. I ain’t givin’ up!!
I had my first therapy appointment last week and I feel very good about it. I liked the therapist very much and I believe that she can help me uncover and work through whatever it is that is driving my addiction. All I know right now is that there has never been anything in my life that has had such a stronghold on me, or changed who I know I am so profoundly. And I know that I am truly in the fight of my life. So…..I’m hanging on for another day. I am on a therapeutic dose of Sub and I have upped my Celexa (also to a more therapeutic dose of 40mg/day) and I am feeling much, much better right now than I have in a good while.
Romeo and Lilly and all you others here who are struggling to stay off opiates….Let’s keep working on this together. I know that I certainly need all the encouragement that I can get! And all the prayers I can get, too! You all have mine!
