Author: StrangerInTheMirror
Posted: Tue May 31, 2011 12:34 pm
Hello Time to Stop, and everyone else!
I know what you are going through exactly, and I really mean exactly. I’ve been on subs for 2 1/2 years, and I’ve been stuck at 2mg a day for the past year. Last Wednesday I ran out of subs, because I didn’t follow my taper schedule (is there an echo in here?). I had to go 6 days without them, and it was pretty much pure torture. The first day I ran out, I told myself I should take this opportunity to quit Subs for good, but I made that decision pretty quick without thinking about it much. After the first 2 days I realized that this wasn’t the healthiest way for me to quit subs, and not even try to taper them correctly.
I didn’t prepare for it, so I felt like this wouldn’t be the way for me to have closure on this part of my life. I mean, I’ve been on subs for almost 3 years so I don’t want it to end this way. I don’t want it to end as an accident where I didn’t control any of it. I want to feel the empowerment of planning a true taper schedule, and minimizing the withdrawel. My life is really boring at the moment, so I give in to anxiety and depression easily. So, long story short I started subs again today, but I dropped my dose in half to 1mg per day.
Now I will taper off by 10-15% every week until this script is gone. I’m not 100% happy about getting back on subs just to taper down and do some withdrawels again, but I know I will be a lot more Emotionally intact this time around.
What I found out this week is that the worst part of the Withdrawels was pretty much over by day 5 and 6. Days 2-4, I was having horrible anxiety and I even sobbed a few times. I didn’t eat for 4 days, which wasn’t smart, but I didn’t have a choice. Since I was at 2mg like you, I can pretty much promise you that the worst is almost over. After the first 7 days, I usually have to deal with restless body syndrome, no sleep, and overall uncomfort. However, Anxiety goes down quite a bit after the first days of it. I even found myself smiling and talking to my family and my nephew on day 6.
It will be hard, but you can do it! Stay strong, and try to remember that next month you will feel like a new person, and your senses start to come back after the first week or so. Don’t give in to the temptation to get back on them. I admit I am very weak minded, but I hope someone can learn from my mistakes. Trust me. You’re doing the right thing!
-Stranger
