Author: stephent
Posted: Mon Oct 10, 2011 1:26 pm
My doctor is fine with me not attending 12 step meetings. He just says "everyone finds their own way". I do have to say, the first doctor I had was via my rehab program. She knew I would be attending meetings. Before I moved, I told her I was do online SMART meetings instead of 12 steps and she was apprehensive. After the move the new doctor asked me once, I told him no and started explaining and he stopped me and said "You do not need to explain yourself" and said that I did not have to defend myself. I have to also add that when I went to the new doc I had a little more than a half year with no use or relapses.
I gave 12 steps a very steady try… 90/90, sponsor, the whole deal. I have to say it helped me at first, at that point I needed to see people that had stopped using. As I became more confident in myself, the need disappeared and I began to feel forced. Next thing I know my sponsor is telling me "he’s sick of hearing about my F***ing problems" (apparently I was talking about the same situation for two long). The next day I get a new sponsor, and within a month he is having me memorize prayers, get on my knees. I keep telling him I do not believe in a god. I just started asking myself "What does this have to do with me staying clean?" Furthermore, nobody would ever accept that I was doing "okay" and wasn’t having many cravings. I do agree that Suboxone lessons the impact of early sobriety, and many of the older guys and girls in the 12 steps struggle to understand why the Sub patient isn’t craving like they did.
As for the Doctor, I would ask him if attending SMART meetings would be okay? Give them a shot. Just google SMART recovery
At the end of the day, I get really nervous with any program that is viewed as "infallible". I was so sick of being told that "I" was the problem, not the program. Supposedly the only reason I felt uncomfortable was because "I" was doing something wrong. I feel that many of the 12 steppers feel the program is "from God" so it too must be perfect.
