Author: amber4.14.11

Posted: Fri Dec 16, 2011 1:09 am

EIGHT months yesterday…………………….
Can hardly believe it. Its a little overwhelming, so I try not to think about it that much. I totally believe in the "one day at a time" its the only way to keep things manageable……..

Haven’t had any nightmares in over a week, which has been a welcome gift. hope it lasts.

Still having "flashbacks" of memories, some from childhood, some from active addiction. they’re not all bad, but I feel the emotions from the past at the same time as Im getting like "still shots" (photos) in my head its very strange.
My therapist says it’s part of my brain waking up. My career of active addiction was over ten years, 5 of them pretty intense. So I guess that makes sense. and I’d rather have that then the nightmares………

its wierd….when your using,, you always know what kind of day you’ll have emotionally,,, cuz your gonna get loaded, you know you wont give a shit about anything.
but now, when I wake up in the morning, my emotional day, its completely up in the air!!!! most of the time everythings fine, but its wierd to have a grumpy day, or a sad day,,,,,,,,,,, just not used to having emotions.
but im learning!!
and im improving every day, as a person, as a mommy, and learning to be there for my family
and that sure feels good.

Author: amber4.14.11

Posted: Fri Dec 16, 2011 1:09 am

EIGHT months yesterday…………………….
Can hardly believe it. Its a little overwhelming, so I try not to think about it that much. I totally believe in the "one day at a time" its the only way to keep things manageable……..

Haven’t had any nightmares in over a week, which has been a welcome gift. hope it lasts.

Still having "flashbacks" of memories, some from childhood, some from active addiction. they’re not all bad, but I feel the emotions from the past at the same time as Im getting like "still shots" (photos) in my head its very strange.
My therapist says it’s part of my brain waking up. My career of active addiction was over ten years, 5 of them pretty intense. So I guess that makes sense. and I’d rather have that then the nightmares………

its wierd….when your using,, you always know what kind of day you’ll have emotionally,,, cuz your gonna get loaded, you know you wont give a shit about anything.
but now, when I wake up in the morning, my emotional day, its completely up in the air!!!! most of the time everythings fine, but its wierd to have a grumpy day, or a sad day,,,,,,,,,,, just not used to having emotions.
but im learning!!
and im improving every day, as a person, as a mommy, and learning to be there for my family
and that sure feels good.