Author: Romeo
Posted: Sat Dec 03, 2011 12:13 am
I think most of you know that I’m a Christian, not a very good one sometimes, but that’s beside the point for the moment. I believe in God and I believe God believes in me and I know when I ask Him to help me in my life, He does……in His own way (that’s the part that burns me, God likes to compare his sense of humor with mine, He always wins!!)
So, on the Relapse in Progress thread, you know the one that went all nuclear, I had posted about driving up to a meeting and driving back and praying most of the way. I prayed for God to help me in my recovery, I prayed (begged) Him to show me what the heck to do. Well, as some of you may have figured out, I’m a little on the stubborn side and God has to do some pretty intensive things to really get my attention.
Exhibit A, the Relapse in Progress thread. How could that craziness not have got my attention. It got my attention in a big way. It also confused the snot out of me. On one side, I’ve got people telling me to go to rehab to save my life, on the other side, I had people saying it wasn’t necessary. By the time the thread got locked, I felt like I had lived 1000 lifetimes.
Sorry, gonna jump out of order here for a second. At my NA meeting last night, the topic was about staying clean. Something that really caught my attention was the fact that we usually make our recovery SO much more difficult than it needs to be. I laughed out loud when that was said because that’s me, to a T. Also, the topic of living in God’s will vs. living in our will was brought up and that stuck with me too.
Really, those few things, the craziness of the thread, understanding how difficult I and I ALONE have been making my recovery and fully realizing how I was living in my will is where I was at this afternoon when I got home.
OK, I get home and my wife asks me why I didn’t go see my addiciton counselor this week, like I had promised her I would. The truth is, I was hoping she would forget or that I could talk her out of it, NOT!! She didn’t buy it this time. So, I’m going to see my friendly addiction counselor next week. The last time I saw him was after relapse #2 (I’m using my math here, not LT’s!!!), after relapse #2, he was insistent that I go to rehab, but I talked my way out of it. I have not seen or talked to him since relapse #2, but I’m pretty damn sure when I stroll my happy ass in there next week that he’s gonna be adamant about rehab and he has a secret weapon, my wife…..she listens to his advice.
Some of you are going to think I’m crazy (and I probably am, a little bit), but had these events not all unfolded in the way they did, I would NOT have been open to any kind of additional help for my addiction. God moved in my life, just like I asked Him to (but He did things ENTIRELY different than I would have done them, I would have taken it easier on me!!) and I’m in a better spot now because of all of it.
It took each and everyone of you AND your replies on the Relapse in Progress thread to get me to where God wanted me to be (yes, even you Reraise, you asshole 
). Without ALL y’alls help, support, kicks in the "you know what’s", I wouldn’t be ready to accept more help.
I’m so sorry the thread got so ugly, I wish it didn’t have to go there, but it did and at this point in time, I don’t give a shit anymore.
The way I look at it, God had a hand in all of it, He let all of it happen for a reason and only He knows the benefits that you guys will get for participating. I’d buy all of ya new cars, but I ain’t rich, sorry.
Yeah, God is still working with me on the whole swearing thing, be patient, I’ll stop cussing someday.
Lastly, be careful what you pray for!!!! LOL!!!
