Author: Romeo
Posted: Sun Sep 25, 2011 9:30 am
I hear ya T.
My first and second relapse were basically due to emotional pain that I couldn’t handle at the time. I’m learning how to struggle through stuff like that with no opiates now, it does seem like it’s more difficult for me than other people I talk to.
I’ve often talked to my wife about issues like the one you brought up. When I’m going through a rough time, I often marvel at the fact that other people go through similar issues without wanting to medicate themselves. It’s like bad times hit me harder than they do others, or I take the bad times more seriously than others?? It’s hard to explain.
Interestingly enough, my original drug use, marijuana, started shortly after my sister passed away in 1983. I was 17 years old and could not deal with the pain. I started smoking pot and it dulled me out perfectly.
I’ve basically taught myself, from a very young age, to use drugs to deal with emotional pain and when I had no emotional pain, I used drugs to get good and stoned because I like being stoned.
I have no doubt that my sister passing away at such a yong age, she was 18, has indeed made me "not quite right in the head."
