Author: rule62
Posted: Sun Sep 25, 2011 12:30 pm
Most of these stories are so sad. To think that as human beings we did this to ourselves. I do partly blame the medical community for the easy availability of opiates. They work great for stopping pain but are so damn addicting it is killing hundreds of addicts yearly. (a guess)
My bottom was nothing compared to what most have gone through but I will still post it so those who are like me can identify.
Like everyone else, several injuries and surgeries got me on Vicodin and then over to Norco. Being a recovering alcoholic and an old chemical dependency specialist (20 years ago), I knew my addictive nature and it took longer for me to become a full blown addict where I had to start my sobriety date over.
To me, I was taking lethal doses, but reading others posts I realize my journey could have gone a lot further. Thank God it didn’t.
It just got to the point where I was passing out at inopportune times. When you mix a bunch of Soma with Norco it gives you a high very similar to drinking. Couldn’t feel any opiate w/o taking Soma with it. The worst day was our 20th wedding anniversary. We dined at a very nice restaurant on the ocean front. Ten minutes into our salads the drugs hit me and it caused a great deal of embarrassment to my wife. That was the tipping point. She had stood by me for years of drug abuse because most of the time I was able to maintain my appearance. But I couldn’t stop the Soma/Norco/Tramadol mix. My marriage was in trouble and also people at work had started to notice my change in behavior. I knew in my heart that disaster was very close and I had to do something. But I was scared to death on not having my beloved opiates. They kept the dark away. Life was just too grey w/o pills. BTW, my wife has been on me for decades to go on an Anti-depressant but Norco worked just fine for that. Last week I started Effexor mostly to battle the depression that comes with tapering.
I researched years earlier for a support forum for pill addicts. Stuck around and found out about Suboxone from other addicts, not really knowing what it was but they were telling me to get on it.
Called around and found a nurse who talked to me for almost two hours to convince me to come in on Monday in withdrawals. It was a husband a wife team who only cared about the patients and not the money. Meaning they took my insurance as paid in full. God Bless them. They nursed me through the withdrawal of Soma. The Sub did the trick for the Norco and Tramadol.
Because of all the abuse, my heart was skipping a beat and my blood pressure was way too high even though I was on meds. My body didn’t take the withdrawal too well. I also had a bad nicotine gum habit that they got me off of by prescribing Wellbutrin. Funny how that worked. That w/d was the worst I’d experienced so far. I was chewing the equivalent of 2 ½ packs a day so it was rough. Did the whole heart workup and got the okay.
Started out at 24mgs on May 2, 2010 and today I am at 1.50mgs and going down thanks to all the great people here who have done it before me.
So you see, my bottom really wasn’t all that much. No big arrest and no hospitalization so far. Suboxone did what it was supposed to do. Tapering has been very easy with a few slip backs, but that’s an addict for ya. I should be off of it in a few months if all goes to plan. Then I’ll be on the other side with the rest of the successful jumpers here. I am keeping the faith.
Several people here have helped on the wayside via PM’s and e-mails. You know who you are and I am so very grateful you took some time to educate me.
Moral of the story. You don’t have to have some terrible event happen to stop the merry go round. Don’t put too much into comments from addicts in NA or AA. Sometimes they say things they shouldn’t. But they are sick too. Stay here and learn. Slow down and don’t rush. Many of us need to stay on Suboxone for life so it you’re one of those, be grateful there is help.
Welcome to recovery.
