Author: laddertipper
Posted: Tue Sep 06, 2011 11:12 am
| ClearAqua wrote: |
| jenzo – I will read your depression thread and I’ll let you knw what I think! I suffered from some pretty harrowing times this summer and still, it comes and goes but the good news is it is going with much more frequency! I feel more "normal" than I have since I started tapering.
romeo – I will always come back! Especially once I am off Sub for good, I would like to help others. I needed to take a break from thinking abou the taper all the time and that meant a break from the site ladder – I hit some very rough places this summer. The depression/melancholy (whatever you want to call it) really hit me hard starting about mid-May and lasted until the first week of August or so. I don’t know when it began to lift….I just noticed day to day that I was doing better, feeling more like my old self and the important part….finding joy and happiness in life again. My doctor had a name for what I went through…it’s when you cease to find joy or happy in anything….but I don’t remember the psychiatric term! I kept telling myself that it was my brain coming off years of high opiate usage. |
Yes, I have found my pace and it is very slow from here on out. I will be where you are someday!
That is so true about not being able to will yourself through it. It goes at its own pace and you cannot plan and control how your taper will go. You can only maximize your chances by taking good care of yourself and accepting it when it is too much/too soon.
You know, I went through a long period of feeling so icky too. It was around 1 mg, but it took me forever to pull out of it. It was physical and very largely mental too. When it got severe, I actually went up a little, like you, and that helped. I really resigned myself to this process and decided to take my time and not punish myself physically and emotionally by going too fast. Since that nastiness lifted, it’s been so much easier. I got to .5 and kept going to .375, .3125, .25, .1875, .125. Not only did I drop in small increments, but I even alternated between the two doses before committing to the smaller one. Have I felt it to a degree? Yes. Has it been bad? Not at all. I really want to stop Sub, so I trust myself to only take what I truly need. Now, I’m alternating between .125 and .0625 and can see the light at the end. I am not going to ever jump. I am going to step off gracefully. I’m not convinced that is not possible.
Who cares how long this takes as long as you are living your life to the fullest in the meanwhile? When I was feeling like dog poop, I didn’t want to do anything. That is no way to live. Now, I’m really into my hobbies and my life in general and worry about this taper so little. The pressure is off and there’s no deadline. I feel better the lower I get on Sub, actually. It’s an incredibly strong med, though, and you are wise to understand that. Let’s finish both our tapers with fuller lives, healthier bodies, and happier brains. That is what is important….not how long it takes!!!!
laddertipper
