Author: Romeo
Posted: Sun Sep 04, 2011 11:01 pm
Kinevol,
First things first, I love you man (obviously in a friend kinda way). I love your honesty and I want you to know, you are not alone. It is completely normal to be feeling like you want to get high again. You’ve been feeling like crap for a while and you just want a break…..I get it man, I really do……I remember saying those exact words to my wife a few times during the worst parts of my wd. I just wanted a break from it all, but I also knew that there was really no way to just use once, so I kept on pushing.
For me, the worst part of my day was the evening, around 9pm. I couldn’t sit still, I kept having that jump out of my skin feeling and anxiety would build because I basically knew I had another night of shit sleep ahead of me. What I ended up doing around 9pm every night was to jump in my truck and ride. 95% of the time I would listen to AC/DC, Hells Bells, FULL BLAST!! I would drive to a nearby "big city" then turn around and come home. I would ride for half an hour, up to an hour on some nights. The ride plus the Rock N Roll got me out of my head and it enabled me to make it another night.
I can’t remember, did you ever take Clonidine?? Remember, I didn’t even START Clonidine until day 30 of my wd and it helped me tons.
Lastly, if you absolutely feel like you’re not gonna make it, if you feel like you can’t stand it for one more second, please, don’t use, go back on a low dose of Suboxone.
I’m gonna send you a PM with some contact info of mine, feel free to get in touch with me whenever you want.
I have so much respect for you and your honesty. Don’t ever change that part of your personality.
Romeo
