Author: setmefree
Posted: Thu Jul 07, 2011 9:47 am
Thank you Hatmaker and Romeo for the kind words. I do appreciate the support very much.
Hatmaker, you’re right….probably my biggest struggle all along has been the guilt and the shame regarding having to accept that I let my life get so off-track. Although I am a far-from-perfect human being, there are just a few things that I never thought myself capable of. And to find myself guilty of many of those very things and to have it all come out in a pretty public way, was beyond devastating to me. It’s been extremely hard to let all that go. The counselling is helping with that, yes. It’s going to be a process, more than a one-shot deal for me, maybe because there’s just so much garbage there, but little by little I feel like I’m getting there.
Hey Romeo….I worked several steps while I was attending meetings. For me, it was kind of a forced thing, so I don’t think I got as much out of it as I would have otherwise. But I do think there is good there and I’d encourage you to go ahead and get into it and see what happens. You’ll know soon enough if this is something that will be of benefit to you or not.
One thing I have come to know for sure throughout all this is that if you’re having difficulty with any aspect of recovery….it’s time to try something different! If what you’ve been doing is not cutting it in terms of keeping your recovery solid and strong….do something else!
I do believe that I will come off the Sub successfully and I don’t think it will be too terribly far into the future. I have a big vacation coming up in a very beautiful locale and I have a feeling that it’s going to be a place/time for a figurative "cleansing" for me. I hope to come home having done the work recommended by my counselor and feeling stronger than ever. It feels good to finally be letting this stuff go….that’s for sure!
